Dear Mom,
I just had my first day of work. The kids are sweet, I really love the job. I kept seeing all these Mexican women with white kids (during the Mommy and Me classes) and I just figured there was a group of Mexican women who adopted and maybe it was like a "thing" hahaha I am so naive, they're all the nannies of rich families. One of the nannies face-timed the mom while I was playing Dinosaurs with the son and it was Fergie!!! I talked to one of the other employees and apparently one of the other son's belongs to a Victoria Secret model. I was so shocked, only in Los Angeles. Now I'm in a Starbucks during my break typing this on my laptop because we don't ave wifi at the house yet.. sigh
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Introduction
Dear Mom,
I've been thinking about you and wanting to talk to you lately. I can't tell if its my ego that holds me back, or good reasoning. I decided to get a diary app so I could basically tell you the little, simple things in my life or tell you about my day to day uncovering's. I don't know if I ever plan on showing you, or maybe its a good way to keep track of my own progress, but nonetheless I started it to write to you.
Sometimes I picture myself as a little kid at the beach, looking at all of the tide pools and finding all these little creatures, new and oh-so beautiful. I find myself getting so excited and pointing at the sea urchin, looking back towards you, waiting for a response-a smile, an affirmation-to my new discovery. I find myself wanting and waiting to hear your voice, to know that you see my new growth and learning. But you're not there, and I have to smile for myself, be proud of myself.
I've been thinking about you and wanting to talk to you lately. I can't tell if its my ego that holds me back, or good reasoning. I decided to get a diary app so I could basically tell you the little, simple things in my life or tell you about my day to day uncovering's. I don't know if I ever plan on showing you, or maybe its a good way to keep track of my own progress, but nonetheless I started it to write to you.
Sometimes I picture myself as a little kid at the beach, looking at all of the tide pools and finding all these little creatures, new and oh-so beautiful. I find myself getting so excited and pointing at the sea urchin, looking back towards you, waiting for a response-a smile, an affirmation-to my new discovery. I find myself wanting and waiting to hear your voice, to know that you see my new growth and learning. But you're not there, and I have to smile for myself, be proud of myself.
September 23rd, 2015
Dear Mom,
Earlier today I got an email saying I got the job at the gymnastics gym for 30 hours each week at $12/hour. I'm really proud of myself and maybe missing the other job was what was mean to be and maybe Bel passing was also meant to be, and I may never always understand the reason or the lesson, but life always puts it in their and its not our jobs to find it, but accept it when it comes by and just breathe through it, even if its not what we wanted.
Of course though, in Los Angeles, as soon as something good comes along, something bad must come after...I got a call from Verizon saying they are going to turn off my phone unless I can pay for my balance, so I decided to go into the Verizon store to get it fixed and it turns out my phone bill was $715. I had been calling internationally, to Adrien, and I hadn't even thought about it...I was so frustrated. Who makes a seven hundred dollar mistake?! I was devastated. How had it not crossed my mind? He was charged, but not nearly half the amount I was. He slightly offered, but I asked him to not text me all day, I just want to cry it out and figure out where I've be living October 15th, hopefully a more permanent place.
Earlier today I got an email saying I got the job at the gymnastics gym for 30 hours each week at $12/hour. I'm really proud of myself and maybe missing the other job was what was mean to be and maybe Bel passing was also meant to be, and I may never always understand the reason or the lesson, but life always puts it in their and its not our jobs to find it, but accept it when it comes by and just breathe through it, even if its not what we wanted.
Of course though, in Los Angeles, as soon as something good comes along, something bad must come after...I got a call from Verizon saying they are going to turn off my phone unless I can pay for my balance, so I decided to go into the Verizon store to get it fixed and it turns out my phone bill was $715. I had been calling internationally, to Adrien, and I hadn't even thought about it...I was so frustrated. Who makes a seven hundred dollar mistake?! I was devastated. How had it not crossed my mind? He was charged, but not nearly half the amount I was. He slightly offered, but I asked him to not text me all day, I just want to cry it out and figure out where I've be living October 15th, hopefully a more permanent place.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
September 20th, 2015
Dear Mom,
Today I wanted to come home. I wanted to let go of all the stress of finding a job, of paying bills and rent. Oh what if would be like to not have to worry about money or adult things. I want to spend money on waxing and doing my nails and having fun...I miss being a kid I miss having a place to all Home.
I have a job interview tomorrow. Its weird how they don't even affect me anymore, like I'm so calm and ready because I once gave the interviews.
Today I wanted to come home. I wanted to let go of all the stress of finding a job, of paying bills and rent. Oh what if would be like to not have to worry about money or adult things. I want to spend money on waxing and doing my nails and having fun...I miss being a kid I miss having a place to all Home.
I have a job interview tomorrow. Its weird how they don't even affect me anymore, like I'm so calm and ready because I once gave the interviews.
Friday, September 18, 2015
September 18th, 2015
Dear Mom,
So its 22 minutes to noon and I've already got a new debit card and ID card(Well, the temp paper). While at the bank, the lady told me of a DMV in Stanton that takes maybe 20 minutes without an appointment because they only deal with identification cards and driver's license's. So now I'm here, and its gone by so incredibly fast, definitely worth the extra drive(or not extra in my case, closer to Los Angeles). I feel so proud of myself for getting my act together and strapping down to figure out this dilemma. I also have an interview on Monday for a gymnastics gym in Sawtelle. I really hope this works out, it pays really well and I love teaching gymnastics, even more than yoga. I hope I get this and find a place to move by Tuesday, its Friday...
So its 22 minutes to noon and I've already got a new debit card and ID card(Well, the temp paper). While at the bank, the lady told me of a DMV in Stanton that takes maybe 20 minutes without an appointment because they only deal with identification cards and driver's license's. So now I'm here, and its gone by so incredibly fast, definitely worth the extra drive(or not extra in my case, closer to Los Angeles). I feel so proud of myself for getting my act together and strapping down to figure out this dilemma. I also have an interview on Monday for a gymnastics gym in Sawtelle. I really hope this works out, it pays really well and I love teaching gymnastics, even more than yoga. I hope I get this and find a place to move by Tuesday, its Friday...
Thursday, September 17, 2015
September 17th, 2015
Dear Mom,
My life has been a mess lately and I know if I could talk to you it would all make a lot more sense. On Saturday night, I lost my wallet. The Louis Vuitton that was Didi's and I feel so awful. It had my ID card, my debit card, my health insurance card, my Red Cross CPR card, Ralph's card, and both of my fake ID's. On Sunday night, I found out my friend Bel passed away...so I decided to go out and party. I ended up missing my first day of work at a local private trainers gym in Beverly Hills. I should have been more responsible, I was so uspet with myself and upset about Bel, that I got upset with Adrien. He's been so incredibly supportive and here for me. I felt awful.
I really miss you and I wish you could tell me which path to take or where to go next or even just hug me and tell me that it will be alright..
Tomorrow, I'm going to my last appointment for my hand, then hopefully to the bank to get a new card and the DMV to get a new ID. I came home today to grab my passport, birth certificate and SSC. I'm really growing up and doing things on my own. I can see it the little things, the things no one else probably would never even notice, but the things I know you would feel were so different if you saw me now. Sometimes I wonder if you would even know me anymore? If if you met me, you would see me and recognize me physically, but have no idea who I was. I change so often and so much. I look back a week ago and I feel so much more grown up and its ONLY a week!
My life has been a mess lately and I know if I could talk to you it would all make a lot more sense. On Saturday night, I lost my wallet. The Louis Vuitton that was Didi's and I feel so awful. It had my ID card, my debit card, my health insurance card, my Red Cross CPR card, Ralph's card, and both of my fake ID's. On Sunday night, I found out my friend Bel passed away...so I decided to go out and party. I ended up missing my first day of work at a local private trainers gym in Beverly Hills. I should have been more responsible, I was so uspet with myself and upset about Bel, that I got upset with Adrien. He's been so incredibly supportive and here for me. I felt awful.
I really miss you and I wish you could tell me which path to take or where to go next or even just hug me and tell me that it will be alright..
Tomorrow, I'm going to my last appointment for my hand, then hopefully to the bank to get a new card and the DMV to get a new ID. I came home today to grab my passport, birth certificate and SSC. I'm really growing up and doing things on my own. I can see it the little things, the things no one else probably would never even notice, but the things I know you would feel were so different if you saw me now. Sometimes I wonder if you would even know me anymore? If if you met me, you would see me and recognize me physically, but have no idea who I was. I change so often and so much. I look back a week ago and I feel so much more grown up and its ONLY a week!
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
September 9th, 2015
Dear Mom,
While living with Naomi in a studio in West Hollywood, I woke up this morning with no toilet paper on the roll, hair in the bathroom sink, wet towels on the floor and in a pile, and the sponges left soaked in a dirty bowl full of water in the kitchen sink. Naomi is so dirty and its crazy how much I wish I could talk to you. I know you would calm my frustration and make everything seem so much less important and tell me how to be more understanding or reasonable.
I also somehow managed to fall head over heels for a guy who lives in Montreal, Adrien. I don't know how, but I really really like him, I would move to Montreal for him(I guess you probably wouldn't want to know that..). This long distance thing has been really hard on me. I adore him and I wonder if maybe you'll ever meet him. He's coming back in October-your birthday actually.
I'm still looking for a job, I've been applying like crazy online. Its insane.
Later today Naomi, Preston(our third roommate: gay) and I are all going to view two properties. I've really put my big girl pants on. Neither of them have been looking for apartments, so I've set up every viewing so far and made the craigslist post to find Preston. I also learned how to bike on Saturday with Eric(not from UCLA). I bike everywhere now with Andres' bikes and it saves so much money. I've had to go grocery shopping on my own, do my own laundry(at the coin places), cook dinner(Yes, I cook dinner: spaghetti, potatoes, eggs). I wish you could see me now, you wouldn't believe the independency I have.
While living with Naomi in a studio in West Hollywood, I woke up this morning with no toilet paper on the roll, hair in the bathroom sink, wet towels on the floor and in a pile, and the sponges left soaked in a dirty bowl full of water in the kitchen sink. Naomi is so dirty and its crazy how much I wish I could talk to you. I know you would calm my frustration and make everything seem so much less important and tell me how to be more understanding or reasonable.
I also somehow managed to fall head over heels for a guy who lives in Montreal, Adrien. I don't know how, but I really really like him, I would move to Montreal for him(I guess you probably wouldn't want to know that..). This long distance thing has been really hard on me. I adore him and I wonder if maybe you'll ever meet him. He's coming back in October-your birthday actually.
I'm still looking for a job, I've been applying like crazy online. Its insane.
Later today Naomi, Preston(our third roommate: gay) and I are all going to view two properties. I've really put my big girl pants on. Neither of them have been looking for apartments, so I've set up every viewing so far and made the craigslist post to find Preston. I also learned how to bike on Saturday with Eric(not from UCLA). I bike everywhere now with Andres' bikes and it saves so much money. I've had to go grocery shopping on my own, do my own laundry(at the coin places), cook dinner(Yes, I cook dinner: spaghetti, potatoes, eggs). I wish you could see me now, you wouldn't believe the independency I have.
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